Prioritise your pleasure: A woman’s guide to buying sex toys

Women deserve to feel pleasure. They deserve to enjoy the benefits it brings to their brain and wellbeing, to make time for themselves, to explore and celebrate their bodies and desires. It pays to understand female anatomy, to be turned on, to articulate to other people how they like to be touched, to orgasm. 

Everyone’s sex life can be vastly improved with a little self exploration, and the right sex toy can be something of a game changer. With orgasms clearly linked to the release of Serotonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin in our brains (all the good things), understanding your body and your arousal more, solo or coupled masturbation is good for the mind and body in equal measure. And toys are hugely beneficial for that. The right toy can help with physical issues such as cramps, poor sleep, erectile dysfunction and an inability to orgasm. And yet, despite all these benefits, most women report feeling uncomfortable confessing to it.

Using toys can make us feel more confident, happier and can improve our sexual relationship with ourselves and our partners. Pleasure is an important form of self-care, and our toys are designed to inspire sexual wellbeing, stimulate intimate satisfaction and bring pleasure to the forefront.

Coco de Mer toys were created with both beautiful design and meticulous attention to detail in mind. When it comes to The Pleasure Collection there is a sensory delight at every touch point, from the moment you unwrap the velvety packaging, to unzipping the vegan leather carry case and discovering the delights of the toy. No body is the same, so we designed these toys with the user in mind, each able to adapt to your unique body with dual density silicone (liquid silicone underneath the outer layer) creating a super soft, malleable shape that works with your body, not against it. 

Each toy is waterproof (with the exception of The Stimulator, which is splashproof) meaning nearly all the toys can be used in the bath or shower, adding another wonderful sensory element to using the collection. 

Here, we give a little guidence to the world of toys and, hopefully, a little inspiration…

External Toys 

These toys are designed to be used on the clitoris, or anywhere else externally on the body. An external vibrator, such as the Muse by Coco de Mer Muse Bullet is the perfect sex toy for a beginner, as you can control the intensity and go at your own pace while you explore.

External toys often vibrate, but they can also create stimulation by using suction technology or sonic waves. They are perfect for teaming with other insertable toys, or for use during partnered sex.

The right external sex toy depends entirely on you and your preferences.

  • A simple clitoral vibrator such as Pleasure No.1 - The Seed would be perfect for buildable pleasure. It has gentler vibration patterns, making it a great toy for people who might find other Clitoral Toys numbing or too stimulating, and want something with less intensity. 
  • For higher intensity, a wand vibrator offers more contact and more powerful vibrations. Pleasure No.5 - The Wand is a sensational option, giving intense stimulation and massaging pleasure.
  • For the most intense stimulation, Pleasure No.7 - The Stimulator is a wondrous option. Its cushioned mouth combines suction with vibration and the internal pulsating mechanism stimulates the clitoris directly when the patterns are turned on. In a word? Divine.

Internal Toys

Internal toys are designed to be inserted into the vagina and are available as dildos, love eggs, kegel balls and more. These toys can be both vibrating and non-vibrating, thrusting and non-thrusting, and are designed with different shapes and textures to stimulate different sensations.

Which is best for you?

Depending on your preferences, you can opt for something slim and curved that stimulates the G Spot, such as our vibrating Pleasure No.3 - The G Spot.

Love eggs are another excellent option for internal pleasure. Love eggs are spherical or egg-shaped toys, offering powerful internal vibrations, less focused on motion and more about the fuller sensation. They can be used to strengthen the vaginal walls through kegel exercises, or inserted and controlled via remote control for buildable pleasure. Pleasure No.4 - The Remote Egg is a brilliant vibrating option, while the Muse by Coco de Mer Pleasure Balls are great for building kegel strength, and with the in-built roaming balls, they feel delightful too.

Internal and External Combination

This category really does offer the best of both worlds. These toys are designed with an insertable length and external stimulation, which is a great option that only requires one hand to use. These toys are perfect for solo sex, but can be incorporated into foreplay and anal play with a partner for overwhelming pleasure.

Most follow a silhouette of having a longer and larger insertable shaft and a smaller external stimulator. The clitoral vibrator sometimes features a rabbit ear shape intended to sit on either side of the clitoris, but these can also look like bullet and suction vibrators. Consider yourself spoilt for choice in the best ways.

  • Pleasure No.2 - The Dual Vibrator is an obvious choice that guarantees powerful internal and external vibrations.  What separates this from others of a similar shape is the flexibility of the external stimulator. Most toys are rigid, which means that the toy can’t mould to your body. The external part of The Dual Vibrator is completely flexible, working with your body rather than against it.
  • If you want internal and external stimulation without a ‘full’ feeling, the Muse by Coco de Mer Couple’s Flex offers deep G Spot vibrations and powerful clitoral arousal without the girth of a dildo.

Anal Toys

Take things slowly, use the correct toys and plenty of lubricant, and you will find anal play is completely safe and incredibly pleasurable for men and women alike. We’ve written a little guide for anal play specifically with women in mind, so do take a look, but here are a few suggestions for your perusal…

The design of anal toys is very different to vaginal toys - most importantly, they always featured a flared base. You should never use a toy for anal play that doesn’t have a flared base to avoid the risk of anything becoming stuck inside you.

Anal toys can be made out of harder materials than vaginal toys, such as metal and glass, and they sometimes feature exaggerated shapes and textures for added anal pleasure.

If you are a beginner to the world of anal play, start with something small like the Small Rosebud Butt Plug by Julian Snelling. You can graduate onto larger sizes of plugs, beads and dildos until you are a connoisseur of backdoor delights.

Butt Plugs

Butt Plugs are short toys with a wide girth and a flared base designed to stimulate the nerves at the opening of the anus. The coolness of glass, metal or ceramic material adds to the sensory pleasure in the non-vibrating plugs, such as our Julian Snelling options. More intense sensations can be achieved with a vibrating plug like our Pleasure No.9 - The Remote Plug.

Anal Dildos

Anal dildos feature a flared base and can be used alone or with a Strap-on harness for partnered play. The curved tip is ideal for reaching the P-spot in men for an intense orgasm.

 Couples Toys

Any toy can be enjoyed with a partner, but we want to focus here on toys designed specifically for both of you to enjoy. These toys can take on many shapes and functions, often slim and discreet in profile so as not to get in the way of penetrative sex - merely adding to the pleasures. Sex toys are simply an enhancing addition to your sex life, just like beautiful lingerie or trying a new position.

Some couple's toys are designed to stimulate one person while the other person controls the remote, and the anticipation. Pleasure No.4 - The Remote Egg is a sensational toy. It can be incorporated into long-term foreplay for all day teasing, or used by hand as a normal vibrator while your partner controls the sensation. The remote also has its own vibrating features, making a wonderful massager for additional pleasure for you or mutual arousal for them. Pleasure No.8 - The Ring is another great option to be used before and during intercourse.

Other couple's toys are designed to be multi-stimulating so that they can be used on male and female bodies in a number of ways. The Muse by Coco de Mer Couple’s Flex is flexible enough to be used as a rabbit vibrator, a prostate massager and more. 

Aftercare is key

Aftercare is such an important part of any sexual experience, especially when it comes to bridging the end of one experience to another. By adding a ‘wind down’ the experience lasts a little longer and adds just that little extra longing for the next time. 

An added feature of The Pleasure Collection? Each toy remembers your last setting.  So, whilst there are a plethora of wonderful vibration and speed patterns to enjoy, once a you have found the right pace for you and the toy is turned off, you won’t have to cycle through the options all over again when you return to use the toy - it stays in the moment, reliably and delightfully. In the world of toys, consider this aftercare on a new level.

Taking care of yourself, and your toys, is equally important. Whatever toy you choose, we would recommend keeping it clean and extending its life by using Pleasure Renewed, the Coco de Mer Toy Cleaner. It’s a fresh formula that keeps things in pristine condition. Simply spritz the formula onto your toys, allow to stand for five seconds then wipe dry with a lint-free cloth. The scene will be set for your next delightful encounter.

Introducing Toys to the Bedroom

While it may seem daunting to have a conversation about sex toys with a partner, it needn’t be a big deal or a serious discussion. Using positive phrases such as “I’d love it if you —” or “It turns me on when you —” are confidence-building ways to tell your partner how you feel and what you want, not to mention the excitement that kind of conversation can create.

Include your partner in the process by shopping for a toy together, discussing what you are both interested in and any fantasies you both may have. The act of picking a toy together can be a sensual foreplay element before you have even stepped foot in the bedroom. 

You can browse for a toy during an in-person private shopping appointment, or use our live chat feature, where our knowledgeable and friendly team would be happy to assist and answer any questions. Whatever your preferences, there is a toy - or several - out there with your name on it.