Backdoor Bliss: Anal Sex Tips For Women

Anal pleasure is a pleasure we all have the joy of exploring. Sadly, there are so many taboos around this incredible erogenous zone, so we are here to help you relax into a world of pleasure.

If you have decided to try anal sex or anal play, browse our brief little guide, specifically written for women, to make your experience as much fun as possible, leaving you excited for the next time.

1.  Preparation

Anal is best when you feel relaxed, and prepared. Be it lubricants, lighting, music, massage, toys... it all makes such a difference to the experience. Realistically, there might be some cleaning up to do afterwards, which is incredibly normal, but preparation can help to minimise that.

Planning sex might not feel very arousing, but taking a few steps before anal can really help increase your enjoyment and remove any anxieties. 

There are a few ways to prepare - more important than anything is to think of lubricant as your best friend. Remember, this special place won't lubricate itself, so indulge in a little help. Lubricants act differently, so it's important to choose a lubricant that will not affect your body's PH balance and cause upsets afterward. For this instance, we would recommend our Radiant Bloom Anal Lubricant, naturally.

Cleanliness is key and helps you feel more comfortable and confident. Use the bathroom beforehand, or a douche, or an enema. There is absolutely no right or wrong, just whatever feels most comfortable to you. On a practical note, if you choose to have an enema, do so a few hours in advance. 

Trust and communication as ever is key. You must be honest about how it feels and what you need. Take it slow.

2.  Training

Ok, this isn’t really training, but it is important to understand that the rectum is not like the vagina. It’s much less flexible, so delving straight into a large toy or a hard penis is extreme. Start rubbing that Coco de Mer Radiant Bloom Anal Lubricant between your fingers...

It can be quite titillating to start with anal foreplay, or other ways of involving that area (e.g. spanking). Spanking produces endorphins and gets your butt used to being the centre of attention!

Start with fingers to get your anus used to the sensation and used to stretching. You can then buy a small butt plug (glass). Butt plugs and vibrators come in multiple sizes so you can work your way up slowly. Anal beads are a wonderful stepping stone, gradually increasing in size to eventually match your partner or preferred sex toy, or to where you feel satisfied and full. Once you have tried a non-vibrating anal plug, you can up the pleasure with No.9 The Remote Plug which is a remote controlled vibrating silicone plug for shared pleasure.

Fun tip - If you are using a steel or aluminium plug that doesn't vibrate, like our Silver Clear Stone Plug, try tapping the end once it’s inserted to create an amplified stimulation. 

3.  Can women orgasm from Anal?

There is an array of myths surrounding this subject, the main one being that women can’t enjoy anal sex or that it is designed purely to please men. Not true at all! 

Applying pleasure to the anterior wall (below the bladder) of the vagina indirectly through anal play, with either a sex toy or a penis in an area known as the anterior fornix (The A-Spot), can give you pleasurable waves of contractions, especially when coupled with vaginal stimulation.

Continued pressure vs repeated thrusting is often more pleasurable. A sensual crescendo will work wonders for your climax. And if you're looking for some guidance on partnered positions to try, you can find some ideas here.

4.  Anything else?

Relax... and take it slowly, at a pace - and depth - that feels comfortable and manageable. Don't forget the other erogenous zones, being turned on all over will relax your body as a whole. Remember, do not compare yourself to porn, everyone has different levels of comfort and arousal - taking your time to discover what and how you like it is all part of the fun. 

If you want to hold that thought, do. Relish the moments that you enjoyed and revisit them again - let the excitement build as much as your pleasure will.

Most importantly… communicate, play safely and enjoy yourself. 

When the fun is over, remember to clean your toys with Coco de Mer Pleasure Renewed Toy Cleaner.