The art and importance of self love

Within the walls of Coco de Mer, we talk about the art of self love and its importance on a daily basis, but what is it and why does it matter? Does it make more of a difference to women? Why? Why do we masturbate? Is it healthy? What effect does it have on our life?

With so many questions and so many considerations, it is quite the can of worms.

Our CEO and Owner Lucy Litwack shares her thoughts on the significance of self-love and a few tips for those curious to delve into a world of delights…

I believe female pleasure is integral to female empowerment and at Coco de Mer, we see on a daily basis the hugely positive impact it can have on a woman. Being allowed to explore one’s desires and embrace the complexity of sexual pleasure in an environment that is welcoming, empowering, and indulgent - without fear of being judged - can have an extraordinary effect on a woman’s confidence, and at the same time lead to a more equal relationship with men.

Female pleasure, female empowerment, and confidence are so intricately linked. Having a healthy love/respect relationship with ourselves is crucial. Sexual empowerment is not that different. It’s about having the confidence to know what you want, to say what you want, without fear or judgment, and to appreciate - and celebrate - the importance of your pleasure.

Generations of women have been brought up on what men want. Focusing on that aspect of sex has created an incredibly male-dominated world of pleasure and power, with so many women not even knowing what they enjoy. 

The definition of masturbation is “the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, especially to orgasm; sexual self-gratification”. 

Masturbation has a nuanced reputation. Aside from the physical benefits, it can be a mood lifter, confidence booster, and something of a mind clearer. People masturbate for different reasons — it helps them relax, sleep better, understand their body better, release sexual tension, or their partner isn't around. But a basic perk of masturbation - or self-love, whatever you choose to call it - is that it feels good. There is an outdated assumption that masturbation is only something you do when you don't have a sex partner. Whatever your dating status, a healthy balance of self-love is a life-changing addition, one I would wholeheartedly recommend.

When masturbating or having lesbian sex, 95% of women reach orgasm, in an average time of 4 minutes - this is compared to 39% of women during heterosexual sex. To bring that satisfaction and pleasure into a relationship and to share what works for your body, surely that’s a huge benefit to yourself, your partner’s understanding, and the overall chemistry in your relationship?

Self-acceptance and the confidence, joy, and improved health that come with education and uninhibited explorations of pleasure are what I want to deliver to women. Pleasure and sexual fulfillment shouldn’t be regarded as luxuries; more women need to regard their own sexual satisfaction as a necessity. 

What is more healthy than taking time to appreciate your body and to relish the feelings it can hold, as an individual and as a couple? How can you ever communicate what you like to a partner if you haven’t tried to find out what works for you and your body? Self-love is the only way to truly understand your own body and your own desires - and appreciate them all.

To have fun getting to know what works for you and your body is such a wonderful part of self-discovery and really diffuses so many pressures and preoccupations that have gradually built up around sexual preference. 

Toys really can be a fun and easy way to mix up sensations and explore yourself. 

If you are new to this world, start simply with a discreet clitoral vibrator like No 1 - The Seed. This toy cradles the clitoris and is easy to use - for self-pleasure or with your partner. There are multiple speeds and vibration settings so you can find what’s right for you. As we know, everybody is different.

No 7 - The Stimulator is another brilliant option for self-love, giving an intense focus with ten delightful settings to explore at your pleasure.

If you want a toy you can insert, you can choose an internal wand vibrator or a non-vibrating dildo (both great for exploring your G Spot) and you can try all these toys on your own before introducing them to a partner - or just keep them for yourself! Our bestselling toy is No.2 The Dual Vibrator from The Pleasure Collection -  The G Spot and The Intimate Wand are also both great, easy-to-use internal vibrators.

Dildos can be made from Silicone or there are beautiful ones made from Glass where you can incorporate temperature play (using hot or cold water for different sensations). 

Start and finish surrounded by stunning touches. There is an unestimated elevation when you add the right preparations to the mix. Our Intimate Play is a beautifully designed collection to accompany your pleasurable escapades. Make sure you take care of your NBFs too. Our Pleasure Renewed Toy Cleaner is a must-have.

It would be rude of me not to suggest that lingerie is also an immeasurable addition to feeling your best self. It is a way to redefine sexuality on our own terms as women. A slip and robe in the most indulgent silk, much like the Seraphine, or elegant intricacy such as Mickalene will only heighten your own majesty.

Set the scene. Light a candle or two, slip into something divine, zone out the world and into yourself. Self-love is self-care.

Romance Yourself!