Last night was fucking brilliant. Witching hour saw our shop window come alive with saucy showcases with top burlesque performers Lola LaBelle and Ruby Rose, still life models Kink Ink and the divine sounds of Twin and Tonic. We literally stopped traffic. There were tailbacks down Monmouth Street as everyone wanted to see more - and it was fucking amazing.
And the best bit is we're doing it all again tonight at 10pm so come and join us for a night of burlesque beauty. This is all part of our campaign to show Camden Council what burlesque really is and this Wednesday will see us taking to the streets of London to give the council a real eyeful. There'll be tits on sticks, 6ft burlesque figures and all manner of beautiful costumes. We'd love you to help us with the rabble rousing so be at the Monmouth Street store at noon.
There is a kind of comedy about the notion of a burlesque protest - tits on sticks, boobs against bills and a Benny Hill version of politics so when approached by the magical and intelligent Lola LaBelle I could not help but giggle at the a tassel twirling outrage...
I have had a serious case of cock block, think of it as akin to writer's block with a genital twist. It has never happened to me before, I have had a slight trepidation around my lovers cock and my fear has grown to a slightly uncomfortable size, a hesitating hand, pausing lips. My cock block had crept up on me almost undetected, and when it had developed it was a shock.
I pride myself on being someone who is completely guttural. I love juices, the stale smell of sweat, the musky scent that lingers below, I love hot slippery bodies and I am unafraid of all orifices. Having a cock locked onto my tongue fitting perfectly into my mouth is an oral must. I love food, I love taste; I am a gastro queen.
I want to build a picture here, as the cock block came completely out of the sidelines for me. I mean come on, let's face it I am the Queen of Coco de Mer after all, how has this happened to me...
I believe that God is the ultimate orgasm, that God is the same as an orgasm.
I do not want to talk about sexual techniques or the psychological map of our sexuality. I want to talk about how the energy of God is hidden in the way we fuck. It can be locked away and often missed.
It is something that currently is not widely recognised, though this idea is not as outlandish as it sounds at first; it is mapped throughout our sexual history, within pre-patriarchal societies, tribal communities and Asian philosophies.
I have a layman's theory about why God has been banished from sex. I am going to conveniently ignore the specifics around the history of religion, particularly where it branched off from the simple reality that all of our bodies are innocent, and where religion drove a wedge between heaven and hell and injected guilt into one of the most natural acts we perform. I believe the reason for this was that religious groups were the original political parties and in order to retain control they needed financial wealth. They had to capture the imagination of the public, they had to increase and maintain their public prescription...
What better life could there be than a life dedicated to pleasure?
Just listen to the words that describe pleasure: happiness, delight, joy, euphoria, ecstasy, contentment, satisfaction. Pleasure is a transformative, positive state in which pleasurable feelings lead us into our happiness.
Hedonism after all is the philosophy that pleasure is of ultimate importance, the most important pursuit. It was founded in ancient Greece and can be traced back to the 5th century BC. The principles are based on the belief that our sole human purpose should be the pursuit of happiness...
Recently I found out that a friend of mine is a virgin - a technical virgin- she is a grown woman, glorious, sexy, and sexually active.
I was baffled by the concept of her being a 'virgin', amazed that she actually referred to herself one. She is a close friend of mine yet I never thought about asking whether she had ever had penetrative sex, I just presumed that she had, and really even if she has never had penetrative sex, does that truly make her a virgin? What does virginity mean?
Can the definition of virginity hinge on a penis entering a vagina? Surely we have evolved sexually from that stance...
Here is one of my favourite stories from within the four walls of Coco de Mer. I was minding my own business on the shop floor (as you do) when this beautifully exotic woman dressed in a full-length black burqa with delicate toes and cat-like eyes came up to me and said in her honey like lyrical voice, 'Do you have anything that makes your pussy taste really nice?' I blushed and said, 'No, but I wish I did!'.
After she left, buying all of the most risky and expensive tools my boutique has to offer, I knew that she was the most sexually confident and deliciously filthy woman I had ever met...
Let's face it. I do have a very interesting job. I have a peephole into our cross-cultural sexual desires. All my life people have confessed to me, told me their deepest secrets, their most vulnerable thoughts and hidden desires. Often I haven't said much as it's my direct questions that crack people open. Once they get going they can't seem to stop.
Once I had an elegant lady in her late 60s, obviously well bred. She whispered to me, Darling. My husband wants me to pee on him, he has ever since we first met, 20 years ago. I so want to give him his desire, but there is a simple problem. I was taught as a child to hide such things, I go to the toilet with the door closed for Christ's sake!
It is amazing being in such a position with a complete stranger, having a singular but incredible insight into just who they are. I remember thinking how beautiful and gentle she was, a true lady. I comforted and congratulated her on being able to gift her husband a desire, that in truth she did not have. It was an act of such love and generosity. All I can say is, good for her!
It is surprising and often shocking what people say, but the truth is all my confessors have been my greatest teachers; they are a mirror to my own fears and desires. A reflection into my own humanity, they have been a window into a fragmented truth.
While I am deeply loyal and never divulge information, I do feel the need to pass on some of the stories that my customers have whispered into my ears. Some are funny, some are sad, some have given me my best personal sex tips. Through and through, my customers have been my greatest inspiration.
I have now grown a talent in being able to guess someone's sexual tastes. I can tell their sexual blocks and sense their emotional responses to intimacy. This is all down to spending an incredible amount of time on my shop floor, observing the way my customers react to the various products on display.
Once I had a very well educated man, who seemed very shy and tentative in expressing his desires. I took him around the shop, guiding him through all of the products. I was watching him intently, seeing what he recoiled from or moved closer to. I picked up clues as to what he wanted to ask. I noticed something very subtle, whenever I talked about the forbidden pleasure (anal sex) he almost shuddered in horror. I had hit the blinking jackpot! Often people reject what they are most attracted to, the things they are the most vulnerable about. He bought all the products for the forbidden pleasure, after a little nudge in the right direction. Now, I cant make new ones quick enough for him!
My whole attitude has changed towards sex and sexual values since opening the doors of my boutique (a bit more about that later), it has been a very personal journey and I cant tell you how much I have grown. I am just so happy to be able to share it with you here.