• Feel Free to Fantasise...

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 26 April 2011

    Since the doors have opened at Coco de Mer we have collected many thousands of our customers erotic moments and fantasies, all written anonymously posted through our website. To be honest it has been almost impossible to distinguish the difference between the two, as well as determining whether a man or woman has written it. Only when mythical creatures appear like unicorns or sexual incidents that include Hollywood celebrities in unlikely places (like Jennifer Lopez naked in Barnet sports center) do you question the reality.

    For some, life verges on a techni-coloured, neon coated reality and sexual life is considered a creative master piece. For others, sexual fantasies are a private affair, fueling their own internal sexual engine, enjoyed in the full occupation of a great satisfying wank. Others turn fantasies into home theatre where they act and dress up as the characters (I will be Little Red Riding Hood and you be the Wolf.) I am often a gasp how creative and daring we all are, even if many people think they have boring sex it doesn't take long to probe and actually find out they are incredible, sexual script writers. However differently we do it, we all have something in common, and being pleasured and pleasuring is at the forefront of our desire....

    Fantasies are not just about the creation of a personal sexual theatre, they are what we call brain sex. Like meditation can give us a sense of peace, praying can give a sense of worldly connection and sexual fantasy can be the ignition and the engine to our physical excitement and desire, it can even hardwire us to our nervous system that pumps the feeling of excitement though our bodies. Fantasies are the key to who we are beyond our sexual personality. There have been studies stating sexual fantasies can be attributed in the process of aiding sexual healing from trauma. Some psychologists have claimed that recent research has shown that those who fantasise have sex and masturbate more frequently and have a wider variety of erotic activity, some even having hands free orgasms from fantasising alone. In Freud time sexual fantasy was thought as an act of depravation, where as it is now seen as the other way around, those who fantasise more are less likely to have sexual dysfunctions.

    As Nancy Friday says; 'Somebody once said that the most powerful sexual organ is between our ears, not our legs. Sexual fantasies are maps of desire, mastery, escape and obscuration; they are the navigational paths we invent to steer ourselves between the reefs and shoals of anxiety, guilt and inhibition. They are conjured up when people want to be sexually aroused. Everybody fantasises, if he or she is sexually alive.'

    There are common themes in all of our fantasies, each type of fantasy is like a highway to our sexual triggers, removing or creating restraints that actually make us feel sexually free. Fantasies are a map to our sexual psyche, giving us important clues to who we are and how happy we are. There is so much secrecy and shame that encases sexual fantasies that many people deny they have them or even feel guilty for having them, this can cause a lot of internal hurt. The best way to deal with fantasies is to embrace them and treat them with an innocent curiosity - even get creatively involved and realise with a little bit of personal investment they are one of the tools to really helping you create a rich and delicious sex life

    1. The Total Pleasure Fantasy

    When the senses are overwhelmed in a state of rapture and you and or the other person is being over pleasured. This also includes the romantic sensual pleasure, the beach fantasy, the forest fantasy, the teasing tickling touching or even sex with multiple people.

    2. The Loss of Control or Domination Fantasy

    Like rape or bondage, the magnetic sexual attraction between someone who is trying to resist you, the loss of control gives way to rapture. It is a method that allows the body to feel it has no option than to feel pleasure. It is not about the abuse but the control or loss of control in the fantasy that tricks the mind into letting the body go.

    3. Breaking a Taboo Fantasy

    Is about the excitement and risk, the thrill acts as a trigger to the body; getting caught, being watched, sleeping with someone your not supposed to, sex in a public. This is also about the tension of the forbidden, breaking it creates a feeling of freedom of expression

    4. Fully Freeing Yourself Fantasy

    Being able to act in ways out of ones character when having the fantasy about having sex with a stranger, allowing your guard to drop and behave in a much less inhibited way.