Lead us into Temptation...
Whether we are religious or not religion has affected our relationship to sex, both in negative and positive ways. It has curbed and controlled the way we interact with our bodies and the way we view sex. Often religion has fueled the flames of the fire, while attempting to have the opposite effect. Religion has made forbidden thoughts often the very thing that lies foremost in our mind.
One of my favourite subjects is the dance of sexual temptation. While sexual temptation can be dangerous, it is a part of sexuality that can be enthralling. Sexual temptation has a negative connotation - a struggle between desire and the fulfillment of that desire, knowing that there could be a negative consequence when turning certain temptations in actions.
The word temptation itself has religious connotations - the downfall of Adam and Eve, banished from Eden for succumbing to the temptation of the forbidden fruit, seduced by the snake (an ancient symbol of sexuality) tells us, with obvious warning, where temptation can lead us...
In many ways the tension between sexual virtue and sexual vice is the engine that drives us sexually. Oscar Wilde once famously said, 'I can resist everything except temptation'. Temptation takes us to our edge, reminding us of the unleashed, animal desire that is locked inside of every individual. The ongoing struggle between that animal desire and our civil, controlled self allows us to feel passion. There are many times in our lives when we might feel the need to take ourselves to our sexual edge to reinvigorate our lives, to transform and reawaken ourselves.
Temptation is something that we forbid or deny ourselves on some spiritual or physical level. It could be a flirtation or it could be a simple sexual expression that some how you feel you are not allowed. It could be an act of infidelity, it can include doing something forbidden with your existing partner , something that you could both get caught doing together, a mutual temptation keeping your sex life unpredictable with an element of risk.
Taking risks in sex keeps it thrilling, the question is how thrilling, do we need to keep sex to maintain our own interest and how close to the line do we take it before we start to damage ourselves or the ones we love?
Coco de Mer is often a place where people come to confess, standing on the shop floor surrounded by dildos, suddenly revealing the most intimate details. However, it is those confessions that have changed my perspective about the importance of temptation. I have seen people transform from the walking sexual dead, to suddenly having a whole lease of life from a single temptation. Sometimes its a social situation that has reinvigorated them, or even just doing something they shouldn't of been doing.
I have a friend who after being separated for a year, started having sex with her husband. They started sneaking around each others houses while the kids were at school. She said her extended family didn't know they were back together until a year after their affair with each other had started, they were having the best sex they had ever had. Temptation had fueled their passion and reignited their love for each other - and it felt forbidden.
Sexuality is an energy or a vitality that is held within in us both physically and spiritually. So how do we feed that vitality? To keep it pumping we need to have some social positive reflection! A good old fashion flirt can be the necessary medicine to someone who has lost their sexual mojo - it can be the secret to releasing a suppressed libido because flirting tells us we are still desirable. But the question the is not the importance of it but how far do we take it? Keeping sexual temptation in your life can be a necessity to fueling sexual vitality and maintaining an element of risk and taboo in your sexual partnership. Sexual temptation is the secret ingredient to a happy life and partnership.