• Men Fake Orgasms Too

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 24 May 2011

    Fake orgasms are thought to only exist within the world of women. Many women feel fake orgasms are an inside joke. They hold an unspoken power that silently questions male sexual skills; after all it is believed men can't tell the difference between the two. Fake orgasms breed insecurity, they create doubt that a great experience in the bedroom may not be mutual, and in fact the other person might be in a whole different and hidden reality of dissatisfaction.

    When you talk to women about fake orgasms there are different stories. There are those who openly admit having them and wear their acting skills with pride. There are those who when asked about fake orgasms go into an uncomfortable silence possibly feeling a hidden shame and those who say they have never done it. No matter what their personal admission, all women agree that faking happens a lot and a lot of women do it.

    When you ask men about female fake orgasms the stock answer is, 'I have never been with women that have faked an orgasm'. If you ask them how they would know they just say (pause): 'I can just tell'. At this point all women in the room roll around laughing...

    I am not a man, so I can't profess to understand the inner workings of the magical reality of the penis. So while this article is about temporary impotence, or as some might call it 'the bouncing cheque of love', I have to hold up my hand and say, I might not be the best authority on the subject.

    What I can say is that an issue that does affect a large number of men and my heart goes out to them. A non-performing penis has to be one of the worst forms of anxiety. There are many reasons why a penis decides not to cooperate, but the truth is, the penis is giving you a message, finding out what that message is, is a little more tricky...

    Sex & Conception

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 03 May 2011

    One of my favorite memories of Coco de Mer is of a regular customer of mine. He is a tall, handsome, well spoken yet reserved Canadian man, living in London on a business transfer. He would periodically come into my Covent Garden boutique and buy the most beautiful and expensive implements dedicated to the back door passage. Every time he came into the shop he would talk warmly of his wife, who was too shy to come in but absolutely loved everything he bought for them. When you have a customer like my Canadian man, you get to know what their penchants are, and as a good retailer I have learnt to buy and create new products specifically for these special customers. I could quite confidently say he was a dedicated lover of their rear entrances and only ever bought the most expensive gold and silver objects for them.

    You could imagine my surprise when one day he came in specially to thank me, saying he held Coco de Mer responsible for getting his wife pregnant. We cracked open the bottle of Champagne he had brought and toasted to their new family. When he walked out of the door I then released my expression into a look of bewilderment, I literally thought, how in the hell did they ever get pregnant? I had only ever imagined them having anal sex and wasnt sure how that could translate into pregnancy...

    Since the doors have opened at Coco de Mer we have collected many thousands of our customers erotic moments and fantasies, all written anonymously posted through our website. To be honest it has been almost impossible to distinguish the difference between the two, as well as determining whether a man or woman has written it. Only when mythical creatures appear like unicorns or sexual incidents that include Hollywood celebrities in unlikely places (like Jennifer Lopez naked in Barnet sports center) do you question the reality.

    For some, life verges on a techni-coloured, neon coated reality and sexual life is considered a creative master piece. For others, sexual fantasies are a private affair, fueling their own internal sexual engine, enjoyed in the full occupation of a great satisfying wank. Others turn fantasies into home theatre where they act and dress up as the characters (I will be Little Red Riding Hood and you be the Wolf.) I am often a gasp how creative and daring we all are, even if many people think they have boring sex it doesn't take long to probe and actually find out they are incredible, sexual script writers. However differently we do it, we all have something in common, and being pleasured and pleasuring is at the forefront of our desire....

    Whether we are religious or not religion has affected our relationship to sex, both in negative and positive ways. It has curbed and controlled the way we interact with our bodies and the way we view sex. Often religion has fueled the flames of the fire, while attempting to have the opposite effect. Religion has made forbidden thoughts often the very thing that lies foremost in our mind.

    One of my favourite subjects is the dance of sexual temptation. While sexual temptation can be dangerous, it is a part of sexuality that can be enthralling. Sexual temptation has a negative connotation - a struggle between desire and the fulfillment of that desire, knowing that there could be a negative consequence when turning certain temptations in actions.

    The word temptation itself has religious connotations - the downfall of Adam and Eve, banished from Eden for succumbing to the temptation of the forbidden fruit, seduced by the snake (an ancient symbol of sexuality) tells us, with obvious warning, where temptation can lead us...

    Coco de Mer Inside Shop

    I opened Coco de Mer almost 10 years ago, and even though you can say our relationship to sex is an ever evolving expression, opening the shop has definitely had a huge effect on my relationship to sex. In many ways I am more conservative than ever before. I have even nicknamed myself the Mary Whitehouse of sex.

    It was in my late 20s that I walked into a sex shop for the first time, I will never forget it as it was a terrifying experience. It was a female run sex shop in Vancouver and walking through that door was like breaking my hymen all over again. In reality I had stepped into a whole new phase of my life...

    Let's admit it, we are united as a nation in our mixed feelings of love and hatred toward Valentine's Day.

    Or more honestly, we have a love of hating the holiday and yet we all feel slightly forced to join in. It is ironic, but true that many people dread the moment of the last minute scramble to show up with a gesture that adequately expresses the complicated relationship you have with love, your lover or indeed brings it home that you don't have a lover at all.

    I personally understand the fear, the disappointment and the pressure that surrounds a designated day, highlighting romantic love. I feel there are genuine reasons that we collectively feel this holiday is incongruous. It is a holiday that was originally co-opted by the emotionally prudish early Christians, diverting the deeply sexual and fertility worshipping roots of the Romans festival into a cleaner version of what we humans are made of...

    Good Vibrations

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 01 November 2010

    I opened Coco de Mer just over a year after I bought my very first sex toy; a vibrator. Buying that vibrator was the reason I opened my shop, and I suppose you could say that single purchase changed my life.

    The night before a friend of mine had told me a story that gave me the impetus to walk into a shop that, for many years, I had hovered around but never dared to venture in. The story goes, two days before she had bought herself a silicone vibrator that was a shape of a tree with a snake wrapped around it. It came with a warning, the sales assistant said, 'just so you know, we have many reports that this vibe makes women cry when they orgasm'.

    Obviously my friend thought 'rubbish' only to go home, orgasm, and promptly burst into tears. Well, let's face it, that is enough to sell it to anyone. So I did the brave thing and crossed over the door to a whole new world...

    Orgasm Schmorgasm

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 13 September 2010

    Like many young people, losing my virginity was a disappointment. I was definitely too young, it was alcohol fuelled and something I regretted. The way I lost my virginity didn't set me up for having a great relationship with my body or understanding pleasure, but that all changed when I had my first orgasm. I was 21 years old and had been sexually active for a number of years. Prior to that first orgasm I had been living with a silent nagging fear: what if I never have an orgasm, what if I couldnt recognise an orgasm if it happened?

    My first orgasm was magical. It blew me apart into a thousand stars. I had my own internal galaxy shining brightly and the beauty of the orgasms changed the way I had sex. The experience of an orgasm for me represented self love, as it was only when I had fallen in love that I had my first orgasm. What amazed me was that orgasms are unmistakable and unmissable. Thank God was my overall reaction; I was now whole...

    Destination Paradise

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 13 October 2009

    Culturally we dismiss sex as a laughable, unmentionable act, our views loaded with judgment. The questions of getting it, giving it, and enjoying it all roll around inside the private minds of the cosmopolitan community. Pressures mount up and expectations are confusing for all of us.

    Contradictions around the liberation of sex are sending us into a world of mixed messages. With the loss of important boundaries and the over sexualisation of our culture, we are being led into a very dangerous place. Sex trafficking is on the increase, the 3rd largest criminal industry next to arms and drugs. Men are engaging in paid sex, unaware that a murderous mafia has transformed the sex industry, terrorising innocent children and women. Prostitution and lap dancing have become socially acceptable, and women have largely adopted a male attitude towards sex...

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