Sex & Conception
One of my favorite memories of Coco de Mer is of a regular customer of mine. He is a tall, handsome, well spoken yet reserved Canadian man, living in London on a business transfer. He would periodically come into my Covent Garden boutique and buy the most beautiful and expensive implements dedicated to the back door passage. Every time he came into the shop he would talk warmly of his wife, who was too shy to come in but absolutely loved everything he bought for them. When you have a customer like my Canadian man, you get to know what their penchants are, and as a good retailer I have learnt to buy and create new products specifically for these special customers. I could quite confidently say he was a dedicated lover of their rear entrances and only ever bought the most expensive gold and silver objects for them.
You could imagine my surprise when one day he came in specially to thank me, saying he held Coco de Mer responsible for getting his wife pregnant. We cracked open the bottle of Champagne he had brought and toasted to their new family. When he walked out of the door I then released my expression into a look of bewilderment, I literally thought, how in the hell did they ever get pregnant? I had only ever imagined them having anal sex and wasnt sure how that could translate into pregnancy...
I suppose what he taught me was the best way to get pregnant is to focus on what turns you on, to actually enjoy the process and be care free with it - let the juices flow and all your worries and fears will be dissolved. I love the quote from the NHS websites fertility expert Professor William Ledger as it is simple and concise, Have a happy sex life, is his top tip. He says that some couples with fertility problems, Don't have sex often enough to give themselves the best chance of conceiving.
When I read all the books, magazines and the quagmire of advice that there is on the internet on conceiving it makes me want to scream. Dont drink, only have sex in the missionary position, put a pillow under your hips, hold your legs up after having sex, dont have oral sex, dont use a lubricant, have sex three times a week at certain times of the day and dont let him cum until youre ovulating is not really indicative of a sexy, relaxed warm and loving experience.
If you are a couple who are desperately trying to conceive and have an underlined anxiety that it may not happen, yet are trying to do everything perfectly by following all the rules and regulations listed above, your body will tense up and you are less likely to be in the right physical condition to fertilize the awaiting egg. It is now medically recognised that stress has a huge impact on infertility problems. Through the continued neurosis of lack of conception, I think the greatest problem is where the concept of pleasure is lost in the act of sex. An orgasmically humming vagina must be more welcoming to sperm than a sense of desperation. Ironically, those couples who dont care have more chances of getting pregnant. My advice is simple, hold your desire to have a child close in your chest and enjoy the process of conceiving - on average it can be anywhere between 6 months to two years to conceive. Love you and your partners body and have as much fun as possible. Only 2% of the population is actually infertile so it probably isn't you.