• Destination Paradise

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 13 October 2009

    Culturally we dismiss sex as a laughable, unmentionable act, our views loaded with judgment. The questions of getting it, giving it, and enjoying it all roll around inside the private minds of the cosmopolitan community. Pressures mount up and expectations are confusing for all of us.

    Contradictions around the liberation of sex are sending us into a world of mixed messages. With the loss of important boundaries and the over sexualisation of our culture, we are being led into a very dangerous place. Sex trafficking is on the increase, the 3rd largest criminal industry next to arms and drugs. Men are engaging in paid sex, unaware that a murderous mafia has transformed the sex industry, terrorising innocent children and women. Prostitution and lap dancing have become socially acceptable, and women have largely adopted a male attitude towards sex...


    Religious fanaticism is on a global increase and is dramatically affecting the freedom of women around the world, eroding their rights to education, and sexual and political freedom. The facts are simple, where there is a lack of equality between men and women there is a shocking increase in violence.

    On the other hand, there is a truth in saying that the urban Western woman has more information than ever. Her expectations for pleasure are finally matching the demands of her male counterparts and for the first time in history women have the freedom to express themselves. We are at a precarious place within unfolding history, we need to make a choice as to what kind of world we wish to live in.

    Sex is a precious act that adds to the pleasure of our lives. It can give us insurmountable happiness and draw us close to the ones we love. Sex is a function like eating and sleeping, however, the golden secret is pleasure. Pleasure is a lot more complicated as how we give and how we receive pleasure is what unlocks the doors of paradise. Understanding pleasure takes communication and vulnerability.

    Great sex makes us less angry, more loving and happier as a whole. However, sex has more purposes than being a simple sustenance to the soul. It is great for our personal health and medical evidence has shown that the endorphins that are released are one of the best and most effective anti depressants around. Additionally, sex lowers blood pressure, is a great pain reliever, helps keeps the heart healthy and your body trim.

    If we want to be a sexually liberated society, first of all we have to understand there is only one rule to our freedom and that involves understanding the importance of consent, this sounds simple and obvious but we are not taught what true consent truly. Consent is based on negotiation between the people involved and the understanding of what the parameters are that surround consent. Consent can only come through empowerment, and empowerment can only come from understanding yourself, and what you are entitled to.

    Our attitudes towards sex dictate how we treat each other, and ourselves. Sex is more important to us socially than we give it credit, being non-judgmental kind and respectful are the values that we need to project. Individually we need to carve out more time in our lives, prioritise sex instead of expecting it to happen in-between our heavy schedules. It is the one act that can provide an amount of happiness, and that is invaluable. The best, most pleasurable sex we can experience is free.

    One piece of advice I can give you is explore everything, every crevice of your body, feast on your lovers flesh, forget about the goal of an orgasm, it is irrelevant; treat your lovers body like it is an adventure and your destination will be paradise.