• Cock Block

    Coco de Mer
    by Coco de Mer on 27 April 2009

    I have had a serious case of cock block, think of it as akin to writer's block with a genital twist. It has never happened to me before, I have had a slight trepidation around my lovers cock and my fear has grown to a slightly uncomfortable size, a hesitating hand, pausing lips. My cock block had crept up on me almost undetected, and when it had developed it was a shock.

    I pride myself on being someone who is completely guttural. I love juices, the stale smell of sweat, the musky scent that lingers below, I love hot slippery bodies and I am unafraid of all orifices. Having a cock locked onto my tongue fitting perfectly into my mouth is an oral must. I love food, I love taste; I am a gastro queen.

    I want to build a picture here, as the cock block came completely out of the sidelines for me. I mean come on, let's face it I am the Queen of Coco de Mer after all, how has this happened to me...


    I don't want there to be any misinterpretation of my adoration of oral delights. I am very fussy about what goes into my mouth, I am a girl of quality, I really need to like someone quite deeply in order to allow myself to worship their most treasured parts.

    So here I am, in an exchange with a lover whom I have to say I have grown quite steadily to adore, with cock block, which I have never experienced before. Instead of talking directly to him I decided to hold it within. There is a fine line of being open and communicative and feeding a quiet fear into a large neurosis. To be honest I needed to buy some time before I cracked it all open, I needed to reflect on where this came from, how this happened.

    My new lover whom I will call 'X' is a true master in the bedroom, unfaultable. I don't want to praise too much because he's uncomfortable with sincere compliments.

    So lets get back on to cock block. 'X' delights in making a meal out of me, he praises my pussy like it is a rare breed and whispers 'you're so sexy into my ear', he often calls me naughty, he makes me feel good, easy, happy and free, so cock block should be the last thing that is on the menu.

    What is interesting is that cock block seemed to be an emotional reaction both from him and me, and it remained unspoken.

    I was becoming increasingly aware that I was avoiding his cock at all costs. It was like a magnetic reaction, I just felt I could not do his cock justice, my hand was uncomfortable wrapped around his shaft, my lips quivered and retreated in shyness, what the fuck was going on?

    I really thought about it, I knew that this had to be broached carefully - somehow I had to turn this from a growing issue into something sexy.

    I came to some simple conclusions as I racked my brains: My last lover before this one was the 'King of Cock' and my lips drove him mad. With 'X' it was like I had to relearn how to interact with a whole new penis personality. In short, I was worried that I was treating his cock like it was attached to my last lover, which is not a good look!

    The reality is that each person is a universe unto themselves. We are not formulaic. We each have a totally unique way of finding our own pleasure, and the truth is experience and technique can only get us so far, they are a reference rather than a sure means of getting a result. What I mean is that the more references you have, and the larger your repertoire is, the more likely you are to find pleasure. However, the only thing that makes you a great lover is your capacity to communicate and enquire, to learn and to get someone to divulge.

    Our sexual prowess or ego is easily bruised and hurt, nobody likes to think that they are not gifting their lover true pleasure, that how they are loving their lover's body is not up to scratch. This simple fact stops us from communicating because it is uncertain ground.

    We don't want to damage our lover's ego, and it is hard to hear that you're not doing it right. I was surprised by how hesitant I was to broach the subject, even though I knew that was the key.

    The thing is this is elementary stuff, what is dumbfounding was that I was feeling shy, I was almost embarrassed and ashamed, but why? Because I suppose I was vulnerable as we are all in sex.

    I also recognised an undercurrent of feeling that he was not wholly 100% into the way I was delighting in his cock, although he said nothing of the sort. It was his reaction, or more like a non-reaction that made me feel uneasy and led me towards the cock block. I thought about it, I was enjoying it, I absolutely love it, so the problem was not a lack of enthusiasm.

    So I had two simple solutions:

    The first was to ask him to teach me all the tricks of how he loves his cock being sucked.

    His response to this was interesting, he was almost (not quite) irked or slightly offended by me asking for assistance. He felt put on the spot, he had to identify where I could be tutored. I suppose my expectations have, like my age, matured, and my desires are different. After all I have come out of a 10 year relationship and I understand that sex is something that you are not inherently good at.

    There is no such thing as being good in bed, but simply an innate desire to satisfy and to discover. Amazingly the communication doesn't get easier, it is simply about breaking the ice and managing reactions, and understanding that there is a goal to the communication. I think to be fair my position of asking for 'assistance' is easier, asking for assistance is generous and gracious, however it does highlight that there could be a problem. Highlighting a problem creates an extremely delicate situation. From my lover's position it is harder, having to direct and guide in what you like is a lot trickier, there is a lot more at risk and it really does take a lot of careful navigation.

    The truth is it made me question and look at myself. I realised that I have rarely guided my past lovers with clear and concise verbal instruction, instead I have guided them with my moans and groans, 'yes there' and 'don't stops'. I have rarely navigated, directed and instructed someone while they have been in between my legs, with the idea that we were exploring my punarni together.

    Which is, let's face it, a whole new project which I am completely up for.

    I feel that I confronted my cock block in an open saucy manner, I dispelled the cloud that hung over me by just mentioning it, and happily explaining that my desires to truly pleasure my lover were almost (but not quite) enough. The idea of going to cock sucking school vastly appealed to me, I turned an issue round in my own head into something that to be honest made me feel quite sexy and turned me on.

    He was the professor of his own penis and I was a student of enthusiastic, earnest oral delights. I felt completely capable of earnestly and carefully following all instructions. After all, we can all admit begrudgingly that communication is the key.

    The second mode of attacking cock block was even simpler (I can't believe I am such a fool), in the first month or so of being constantly and quite addictively horizontal I kept all my tools neatly locked away. We all know that at the beginning we all have the simple and delightful 'fucking like bunny rabbits syndrome', but this is inexcusable, after all it is my own fucking mantra - there is only one essential sex tool that no bedroom should never, ever be without: a frigging lube!

    So my mode of attack was Polished Talent. Let me say this: it is the best fucking sex tool known to man. It is cheap, it is effective, it delivers results.

    The long and the short of it is that you can give the best hand jobs with it, no more wrist ache. Beyond that it makes you really, really enjoy giving a warm welcoming hand shake, it takes out the drive to milk a cock and puts in the essential ingredient of massaging it with love. No pressure here.

    Cock block taught me everything I already know, but as always sex teaches us that we are all on the same playing field.